Recipe: The easiest, tastiest eggslut ever

I never heard of an eggslut till I went to Coffee Valley in JB. They served it in a breakfast platter, in a salad and eggslut set and on its own too. I had no idea what it was till Hannah explained, “Oh Nigella Lawson created it!” Did she Hannah?! DID SHE?! I googled, and it did not come from the foodporn queen of BBC. It came from a food truck in LA. Well, they started as a food truck and have since opened a store in Grand Central Market. The shop’s name is “Eggslut” and they’re famed for the slut.

A glorious concoction of mashed potatoes topped with coddled eggs. Coddled eggs are basically eggs steamed in a glass jar. It’s simple to make but I find it a little troublesome to go out of my way to steam a whole mason jar. If you want an accurate recipe for that you can go here.

Instead, I decided to make an easier version of it. A tamer version perhaps. The… Eggbitch? HAHAHA. Okay, definitely not tamer. More indulgent, but a hell lot more ghetto caused it’s instant mash, leftover cornflakes and super oily lup chiong and fried garlic.

If Eggbitch was a person, she’d be a leopard-print wearing, fake Louboutin preaching, sky-high beehive hair Thai disco lounge singer who might claw your eyes out with her 50RM gelish nails that have been filed to a point. She has a deep appreciation for discount wine and Tiger Beer and carries leftover peanuts from naughty patrons in her fake LV bag.

See, I had no toast, no steamer and no mason jar. Plus I wanted to make a quick dish for the husband cause he told me he was hungry and about the reach my place in 10min. So I had to improvise:
I used instant mash potatoes, cornflakes to replace toast and lup chiong and garlic to make it even tastier.

 I used this. So tasteless. So gross. I had to put chunks of butter inside just to make it taste a little better.

But it got better after that:
Exciting layers of deliciousness!
Then finally, you’ve got the magical eggbitch in your hands. All sticky, gooey and oh-so-satisfying:

See, I didn’t coddle my eggs and I still got this beauteous mixture. How? I POACHED my eggs. All you need is a runny yolk you see. 
Two ways to do it:
1. Poach 
2. Sunny-side up
See! No need to coddle, just dump an egg with a runny yolk on top and you get the same effect, but with less effort 😉 The crunch comes from cornflakes and the bulk comes from 20sec mashed potatoes. EggBitch FTW.

Makes 2 portions

– 2 lup chiong (Chinese sausage), chopped

– 3 cloves of garlic, chopped
– 1 packet of instant mashed potatoes (depends on the brand – this brand “Smash” provided 3 portions)
– 20g softened salted butter (adjust according to taste)
– 2 eggs
– 1 packet of cornflakes
– a couple leaves of coriander / chopped spring onion
– salt and pepper for taste

1. Fry the lup chiong and garlic till fragrant. Start with the lup chiong cause it takes longer to cook. The garlic can be tossed in after about a minute. No oil needed either cause the lup chiong’s fat will do the work. Put it aside to cool. 

2. Prepare the instant mashed potatoes according to the packet. (You can go the long way and make your own, but this is not a “girl got lots of time to cook” recipe okay. So live with instant mash.)

3. While it’s still hot, add in the butter and stir. Stop adding the butter when you feel it’s the right amount of fluffy. Put aside.

4. Start on your eggs. All you need is a really funny yolk – that’s what makes this dish slutty you see. POACH or SUNNY-SIDE UP. You pick. I poached mine. Here’s how: boil water in a saucepan, bring it to a simmer. Use a balloon whisk to create a vortex in the saucepan. Crack a cold, refrigerated egg into the direction of the spin. The spin should help keep the egg in place. After 30sec, fish it out of the water with a slotted spoon. Do this with your other egg.
5. You’ve got the eggs, you’ve got the rest of the ingredients. Start layering and do it quickly so that it’s still hot. Lup chiong and garlic first, then mash, then your poached eggs (follow diagram above)

6. Cover one side of the whites with cornflakes (I didn’t have toast) then garnish with some coriander leaves. Done!
7. Wanna be really slutty about it? Add a layer of cheese before placing the egg on top. Oooo gooey cheese~
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