Life on hold
All these questions are starting to pop up, the ones that I scoffed at and thought I would never ask. But the biggest question that has been weighing heavily on my mind the past few days is this:
Is it worth it?
The wedding I mean. I have so many plans next year, I want to travel, I want to write a book, I want to start a business, I want to come into my own. But I can’t. It all has to be put on hold for the wedding.
I know it is the sensible answer, to save money and put it into the wedding, but I want to travel! I want to be able to go to Perth in October, I want to go to Vietnam, I want buy a new laptop, but I’m holding myself back cause I can’t spend any damn money. I want to go on a mission trip, I want to sponsor a child. But I can’t.
Maybe it’s because I have too many I wants.
Maybe it’s because we’re jumping the gun.
Maybe it’s because weddings just take a huge hold on middle class folks like us and that is just how life is supposed to be.
But putting my life on hold for a year to hold a party that’s supposed to happen in a day? I don’t know if it’s worth it.
Maybe it is not.
Ignore this convoluted post. I’m just very confused.